Please Don't Leave
by PaperPioneer
Summary: When Helena leaves it breaks Myka's heart and strains her relationship with Pete.
1. Chapter 1

Helena soundlessly crossed the kitchen to enter the laundry room. Myka watched her before excusing herself from breakfast with Pete, Steve, and the new girl to follow Helena.

"Why are you leaving again?" Myka softly asked. She closed the door to the utility closet as Helena dropped a handful of clothes in a basket and turned to face her.

"You know I don't stay any place for long." Helena avoided meeting Myka's eyes as she responded.

"This is where you are meant to be. The Warehouse keeps pulling you back. Why can't you stay?" Myka had wanted to sound more detached from the question, to hide how much it hurt that Helena was again leaving, but she couldn't. It did hurt, so her voice came out more desperate than she had liked.

"Perhaps that was true with Warehouse 12. This one is not mine. It belongs to you and the others now. It doesn't pull me back." Helena moved the clothes basket from the floor to the top of the dryer in an effort to hide her nerves.

"That's not true." Myka shook her head.

"It is."

"Then why do you keep returning?" Myka's voice wobbled. Now she was truly frustrated with her inability to hide the emotion. She always became a pleading, crying mess whenever Helena left.

"You." Helena confidently looked into Myka's eyes, unabashedly saying what they both knew.

"I don't understand." Myka spoke slowly, as though she did in fact understand but refused to believe. They've had similar conversations that always resulted in Helena refusing to acknowledge her feelings and Myka being left heartbroken.

"I love you."

Myka snapped her eyes to Helena's, caught off guard by the declaration. "Helena, no. You can't do this to me." Myka pressed her lips into a thin line, glaring at the other woman.

"My intention is not to upset you." Helena gently responded.

"What did you think would happen?" Myka snatched a shirt from the basket, balled it up and slammed it onto the washer lid, "I would leave Pete for you?"

Helena exhaled, "Of course not. I merely answered your question." She picked up the shirt and returned it to the basket with the rest of her clothes. Her confidence had faltered, her eyes no longer willing to meet Myka's.

"I waited so long for you to love me." Myka's voice rose as she struggled to keep her tears from falling, "I loved you after all the betrayals. After you left me to die in Egypt. After you held a gun to my head. I loved you when you chose Nate over me. I've finally moved on. Pete doesn't hurt me."

"I did not choose Nate over you. I wanted a normal life. I regretted the decision immediately. Watching you leave was one of the greatest pains of my life."

"But you stayed anyway. Normal life, Nate, whatever reason, you didn't choose me. I begged you to come back with us. I forgave you for everything. I told you I loved you." Myka wiped the tears sliding down her cheeks, "You said you didn't love me. You said that!"

"Myka," Helena spoke quietly, "I do not wish to make you cry. I'm sorry for the pain I caused. I was wrong about so many things."

"Go, Helena," Myka stopped attempting to wipe the tears, "You said you're leaving, right? So just go."

"I don't want to leave like this." Helena sounded upset. She took a step closer to Myka but didn't move to touch the other woman, her confidence from earlier completely dissipated.

"But you will." Myka raised her chin, pulled the door open, and strode out of the room. She walked through the kitchen refusing to look at the group still seated at the table. She managed to not release a sob until she was behind her closed bedroom door.

Myka was quiet at lunch the following day. Steve and the new girl chatted around her as she gazed at her sandwich, oblivious to the way Pete was watching her.

"You still love her?" Pete asked from across the table. Myka looked up, shocked to find the others gone, leaving her and Pete alone.

"You heard that?"

"We all heard. The laundry room vent is connected to the kitchen." His voice was factual, emotionless.

Myka pushed her plate away, "I told her I'm with you."

Pete nodded, "I heard. I also heard you say that you loved her. You didn't say you loved me."

Myka didn't respond. She was unable to deny the truth and unwilling to admit it.

"So, are you still in love with her?"

"I'm happy with you." Myka looked at Pete, "I want to be with you."

"That's not what I asked. I want to know how you feel about her."

"I don't know how I feel." Myka sighed, "She's hurt me so many times, you know?"

Pete nodded, "What about me?"

"I don't want to hurt you." Her voice was low, nearly a whisper.

"If you stay with me without loving me, you are hurting me." His response caused tears to form in Myka's eyes.

"I do love you." She kept her eyes on the table when she said it, refusing to look at Pete.

"Like you love her?" His voice was strained, the anger and pain barely concealed.

Now Myka looked at him. She sniffed and blinked in an attempt to hold back the tears. "No."

"I knew when we left Boone." He shook his head, slamming his hands on the table, "I didn't want it to be true, but I knew."

Again, Myka chose to not respond.

"What's your plan? Just keep me around to fill a hole she left?" Pete clenched his jaw, "Will I always be second place?"

"No." Myka shook her head, "She left again. I'm never enough for her. I'm tired of chasing her, of waiting for her. I want to be with you."

Pete abruptly stood from the table and paced a few steps, suddenly restless and uncomfortable. Myka could see the tension in his back, the emotion he was holding. His eyes were red when he turned to face her again. "You keep saying you want to be with me but I don't believe you. Tired of chasing and waiting for her means that you'll settle for me. Your feelings for her outweigh your feelings for me." He took a deep breath, "Your relationship with her is complicated. I don't want that for us. I can't be with you if you are in love with someone else. It's not fair to me."

"Pete." Myka rose from the table but Pete quickly exited the room. Myka let him go.


	2. Chapter 2

That evening Myka sat on the steps of the B&B feeling alone. She hadn't seen Pete since lunch and the others had been uncharacteristically quiet. She was certain that Pete had broken up with her, and although that upset her, what upset her more was the realization that it didn't hurt as much as leaving Helena in Boone had.

Myka wiped her eyes, berating herself for crying so much. It was foolish to waste tears on a woman that cared so little for her. This had to stop. She had to let Helena go. Perhaps if she talked to Pete they could work this out. She would make him first in her life and prove to him that Helena no longer meant anything to her. She could even make herself believe that after some time. Steeled by her resolution, she stood to go inside.

A car approaching stopped her from entering the B&B. It was too dark to see who exited the vehicle, so she pulled her Tesla and walked down the steps.

"Myka?"

Only one person said her name in that breathless, cautious way. Myka put her Tesla away and stood straighter, telling herself to not waiver. She had made a decision and Helena was not going to change her mind.

"Why are you out here?" Helena was now within touching distance of Myka, their eyes leveled on each other.

"Why are you here?" Myka harshly asked.

"Claudia popped up." Helena smiled, "She's worse than Mrs. Frederick." There was a pause as Helena gathered her next words, "Pete called her and asked that I come back."

"Oh." Myka hadn't expected Pete be involved in Helena's return. He must truly be letting her go by handing her over to Helena, another person that didn't want her.

"He said you were separating."

"Why did you come back?" There was an edge to Myka's tone. She wanted to fight, to make Helena leave again, to guard her heart from the inevitable pain that always came when Helena was involved.

"I told you before," Helena's accent became stronger, a sign that she was nervous, "I love you."

Myka smirked, "I told you that in Boone. It didn't sway you."

"I was a fool."

"You are a liar. If you love me why are you always running?"

"I run because it scares me." Helena looked at her feet, "I'm a hundred years older than you. I tried to kill you and the entire world. I'm dangerous and untrustworthy. What good does my love do you? What good can come from you loving me?"

"Then why are you here? Why not keep running?"

"I don't know."

"You won't stay." It was a challenge more than a statement.

"Should I?"

Myka stepped closer to Helena, their bodies nearly touching, and spoke angrily, "I'm done begging you. I'm done hurting myself for you."

Helena nodded. She placed a hand on Myka's face, running her thumb across the younger woman's cheekbone. "I don't want you to beg or hurt. I can't change the damage I caused you. Please let me make things right between us. Please let me stay."

"I can't." Myka was surprised by the tear sliding down her cheek. It stopped when it hit Helena's thumb. Rather than pull away, Helena placed her other hand on the opposite side of Myka's face.

Slowly, giving Myka time to pull away, Helena moved her face closer to Myka's. When her lips reached Myka's she gently pressed them together. There was no reaction from Myka, so Helena gently pressed again before moving back. Tears were freely running down Myka's cheeks now, puddling along the edges of Helena's thumbs. Helena wiped them from Myka's face before stepping away, releasing Myka.

"I'm sorry that I didn't fight for you." Helena whispered.

A cry escaped Myka's mouth. She jerked her hand to her mouth in shame, then unexpectedly slammed both hands into Helena's chest, pushing the woman back a step. Myka turned, ran up the steps, yanked the door open, and was immediately engulfed in Claudia's arms. She heard Pete call for Helena as his feet pounded down the steps.

Myka clutched Claudia's shirt and released her pain and confusion through the tears. Claudia stroked her hair and said nothing as Myka's body shook in her arms.

After her tears subsided, Myka let go of Claudia, wiped her face, and apologized.

Claudia shook her head, "Nothing to be sorry about." She rubbed Myka's arm in a calming gesture, "Are you really going to walk away?"

"I have to." Myka sniffed, "I can't keep doing this."

"You don't have to keep doing this. You two could work it out."

"Can we though?" Myka pressed her lips together, "Maybe we're too broken."

Claudia made a disapproving sound, "What hurts more, the fights every time you separate, or this moment right now when you think you're pushing her away forever?"

"This moment." Myka slowly responded.

"I have this amazing ability to appear places now," Claudia teased with a small smile, "and I know that's she's hurting too. Her life hasn't been easy. She doesn't trust happiness and she's terrified. We already know she's a poor decision maker." Claudia looked at Myka for a few seconds, "Don't let her go. It won't make you feel better."

"Why doesn't she fight for me? She let me go. She always lets me go." Myka asked with a shaky voice.

"Why do you make her fight?" Claudia gently countered. "Maybe she doesn't want to hold you back. Maybe she thinks you're choosing to leave her."

"I begged her in Boone."

"Sometimes you have to lose something to see it's worth. It tore her apart." Claudia wrapped Myka in another hug. "Go back out there."

Myka slowly pulled away from Claudia, and walked though the door even slower. Pete and Helena were near Helena's car, speaking quietly. They silenced at her approach. Pete advanced toward her, leaving Helena in place.

"I want you to be happy." He spoke, "HG does that. Keep her around."

"What about us?"

"We don't fit. I care about you and I hope you care about me. I want to be happy too. There's someone for me out there. I'll find her." He smiled, and although it looked slightly forced, his words sounded sincere.

"I want that for you too." Myka's smile was genuine.

Pete hugged her before going back inside. Myka walked to Helena, every step filled with nerves. She could see the redness in Helena's eyes and the still wet tracks on Helena's cheeks, much like the wet tracks on her own cheeks.

"You can't leave again." Myka put effort into sounding confident despite her fear of another rejection.

"I won't. It took me far too long to admit, but I want to be with you." Helena's voice was thick from crying.

"That's all I've ever wanted." Repeating Helena's earlier gesture, Myka cupped the older woman's face in her hands. She pressed her lips to Helena's and Helena immediately responded by wrapping her arms around Myka's waist.

"Are they still watching us?" Helena asked once they separated.

"Claudia's probably taking pictures." Myka responded.

Helena laughed. "Let's give her some more." She leaned back into Myka's lips.


End file.
